Recipe for a Scrumptious Wedding Ceremony
RECIPE FOR A SCRUMPTIOUS WEDDING CEREMONY
“We don’t even know what things you have in a Wedding Ceremony! Where do we start?” This was the heartfelt cry of one couple who had contacted me to work with them to create a unique, personal, meaningful ceremony. They wanted something different but were tempted to go the easy route of just letting the Registrar take them through a short set piece which wouldn’t require any real input from them.
Most ceremonies in the UK, and the West generally, include some core ingredients. That doesn’t mean you have to include all of them or that you can’t add other things to the recipe. Some of these are explored elsewhere in The Blog and bring the spices to enhance the flavour even more. (Imagine Nigella Lawson, Delia Smith, Heston Blumenthal and the Hairy Bikers all being asked to prepare the same dish – I bet they wouldn’t be the same!)
So the core ingredients tend to be:
A welcome and opening remarks.
This can include a welcome to the guests, setting the scene for what is to come, an invitation to take part in a “community vow”, mention of “absent friends” and instructions in relation to phones and photographs, even where to find the loos! The welcome is usually done by the person conducting the ceremony.
Readings and Music.
Readings and music really help to give flavour to your ceremony. Do you want the atmosphere to be formal or relaxed? Would you like to include spiritual/religious elements such as hymns or prayers? Do you want your guests to join in singing? (All sorts of songs from “I vow to thee my country” to “Always look on the bright side of life” have been included in ceremonies that I have conducted). Would you love to include a traditional wedding march? A song by one of your favourite artists? Something romantic? Something quiet or something high energy? These are all things to consider.
Readings and poems too can really set the tone and the mood. Are you the world’s most romantic couple? Do you have a really down to earth sense of humour? Or are you the geekiest pair ever? Let that be expressed in the readings you choose. It’s a good way of involving friends and family members too. If you let them choose a reading as a surprise then it can be a real gift to you.
Address.
Usually this is where the person conducting the ceremony says a something about marriage in general or about your love story. If you are having a Church wedding the minister may set the marriage into a religious context through a sermon. It’s best to talk to the person conducting your ceremony to agree what form this might take.
Vows.
This is when you make your promises to each other in front of your friends and family. In fact – vows really are the central ingredient of the dish. Whether it is a short traditional vow or one which you have written yourself. Often the “community” of your friends and family will make a vow too – to support you going forward.
Rings.
Almost all of the weddings which I have conducted have included the exchange of rings. But occasionally couples have found some other symbol to exchange to demonstrate their love for one another.
The Kiss.
An opportunity for you to demonstrate your love for each other and for everyone to cheer.
Closing remarks or blessing.
The ceremony is drawn to a close, you are declared “The Happy Couple” – and you move among your guests to the next phase of the day.
As you are putting together the recipe for your wedding ceremony be sure to have considered where and when you will conduct the legal aspects of your marriage. (For a Celebrant led ceremony this is usually separately with the Registrar). Then be sure to use items from this list with those you have seen or heard about. Your Celebrant may suggest some or you may created your own. This way you will get a truly unique, personal, meaningful wedding ceremony.
If you are interested in a Handfasting read more here:
